Mummy's heart
by x0097-Fuinn
Summary: What would happen if Lily survived when James had not?What if she remarried to Snape? How does Harry feel? What happens when there is a gun pointed at a child's heart because of the choices a mother makes? Mummy will be there for him won't she.
1. Bullet to the heart

**BTW first Harry potter story and I don't like Snape at all. And know that I can't tolerate SnapexLily but it was part of the inspiration I had from story, which is why it seems familiar. Please don't hate I love LilyXJames**

**3 Person P.O.V**

Lily opened her eyes to see Severus beside her. She stroked his arm, her heart beating as if it would explode with love for her new husband. Even though they've been married for 2 years they still haven't taken that step to consummate, but Severus understood that.

Since James died, Lily had never felt this way, until she married Severus Snape. Her only regret was that Harry resented Snape. Harry Potter was the boy-who-lived. When James sacrificed his life for him, the killing curse Voldemort had cast was rebounded from Harry's forehead and it had hit Voldemort himself. Lily had not been at the spot that fateful night. The night when her little son had became so famous. The day James, her first love, had died. Lily felt hollow for many months, perhaps years even. Then, her best friend, Leona Abbott had encouraged her to date again. Lily had been hesitant at first. But when she met Severus Snape, she felt that her hesitation was all gone. Snape was indeed a sweetheart. He looked really handsome when he washed his hair and put on brighter-coloured robes. When she remarried Snape, the hole in her heart was filled with Snape. But somewhere in between Harry wasn't there.

Lily woke up, yawned and went into the bathroom to have a nice, hot shower. She came out of the bathroom clad in a strap-less dress with her hair tied in a pony-tail. She went downstairs to the dining room.

She became very surprised when she saw Harry sit there, eating toast he had made himself. Lily went up to him and put a hand on his shoulder. "Why so early, Harry?" Harry looked up. His eyes were red and his face betrayed his tiredness, shrugged off Lily's hand and glared at her, 'Why should I tell you, Mrs. Lily Potter?" Lily gasped, her heart racing.

Harry sounded as if she was the person Harry hated the most in the whole wide world. "Wh... what... d...do you... me...mean? And I am notLily Potter anymore, I am Lily Snape. You are Harry Snape." Lily said, sitting down at the dining table.

Harry exploded.

He stood up and glared icily at Lily. "I will never be a Snape, you destroyed dad's last memory by marrying his enemy, HIS ENEMY!" Tears were now flowing down Harry's eyes. "You knew I didn't like him-" Lily tried to protest because she knew what was coming next. But Harry continued. "You didn't care though did you. You love Snape more than you love me..you..you ….MUDBLOOD!"

Lily was now freely sobbing, her heart was shattered. Her baby boy hated her and she knew she was the cause. No matter how much she knew Harry despised Snape she went beside her son's wishes and married him.

"What did you say boy!" Severus Snape came down the stairs his hand raised and toward the eight-year-old boy. Snape slapped his palm against Harry's face sending him flying against the kitchen table. The blow of the hit left and angry red welt ,but the collision that shattered two teeth, bruised face, and blood out of his mouth.

Lily stood in shock at what she had just witnessed. She knew Snape disliked her son as much as her son disliked Snape, but she never thought. No. Lily gasped and held her hands to her mouth.

"I'm guessing you didn't know that he hit me did you" Harry's soft voice sounded throughout the room.

"Silence boy" Snape said getting ready to charge the eight year old again.

"I was going to give you a choice and let you decide between him or me, but I think we've played that game many times before right mummy." Harry's bloody smile pierced her heart. She knew he was talking about the many times he's asked her to run away from Snape, all of which she denied. Harry pulled out a gun from his pants and aimed it at his heart.

* * *

**Lily P.O.V**

I didn't know what to do. More heart was breaking more and more with the sight before my eyes. I loved Severus and he… I had no idea what he did to my precious baby. What else has he done to my child that_ I never saw was hurting inside and out_? How could I have never noticed?

I look back and think of the times that Harry would come out of the closet limping with Severus following right after. I ignored it because Severus filled the pain that was in my heart after losing the husband I still loved. I couldn't stop the tears from falling, the sobs wracking my body, and pain engulfing my heart.

I looked at Harry who was smiling directly at me with blood dripping out of his mouth and he said "I was going to give you a choice and let you decide between him or me, but I think we've played that game many times before right mummy." I knew he was talking of all the time he's asked to run away and leave Snape. Right then and there Harry pulled out a muggle gun and aimed it at his heart.

"You suffered in the heart, right mummy"

**The gun safety was released.**

"It hurt like a bullet to the heart when daddy died, right mummy"

**The trigger was slowly pulled back.**

"Now I will feel the pain you were feeling, so that you can then feel pain I had"

**The trigger was pulled back all the way.**

"Nooooooo!" I stood and ran to my son before the trigger was completely pulled. I would NOT lose my baby. Jumping from where I was I tackled him.

* * *

…_And yet there was blood everywhere_. _Blood that was not Lily's but Harry's scattered across the floor._

* * *

_**A/N: Tell me if I should finish this and I will.**_


	2. Where had she gone wrong

_**A/N: Nine reviews, wow thanks here's what you guys wanted sorry for the grammar I hope it's not that bad.**_

Lily felt sticky and wet. What was this thing all over her body? It's red and thick. There's a body underneath her, what's going on?

Lily's mind caught up to her quickly. Looking at her dress she saw that the sticky wet stuff was blood, blood from the body beneath her. Harry. Her baby shot himself, and because of her tackle it hit him not in the heart but in the center of his chest.

It came from the back of Lily's throat, and she already knew it was coming. A scream pierced the entire neighborhood, a heartbroken scream, and one speaking of despair. Wasting no time Lily picked the body of her son up and ran through the floo and shouted " ST. MUNGOS!"

By the time Lily got there she was covered in blood, soaking right through her dress. "HELP! HELP ME PLEASE MY SON IS DIEING!" Lily being in such a state of distress didn't realize one thing.

Harry stopped breathing.

Healers swarmed Lily almost at once. They took Harry from her arms and rushed him over to the E.R. Lily tried to follow but she was held back from all the nurses. "IM A HEALER I CAN HELP!" Lily frantically screamed at all the nurses holding her back. "Sorry, Mrs. Potter you need to calm down please sit here and wait for news on your sons condition. Lily being in a state of distress didn't even here the use of her previous name.

Wracked with sobs Lily sat in the waiting room for her son. How could she let someone so precious slip through her fingers like that? Her precious little angel. The one she knew she would give anything up for, yet why didn't she let go of Severus? As Lily sat there she reminisced on all the time she spent with Harry before Snape came into the picture.

* * *

**_*Flashback*_**

_**Baby Harry two years old**_

_Lily walked across the hall of her condo to Harry's room. She lived in a condo instead of Potter mansion because of the many memories it brought up for her._

"_Mumma!" Harry's insistent calling was heard around the house everywhere. _

_When she reached his room she was greeted with the sight of emerald eyed chubby baby that had the most unruly hair, like her late husband. James. The thought of him almost made her burst into tears. 'No', Lily told herself. She would not do that her son._

_As if knowing her distress, Harry jumped out of his little bed and wrapped Lily in a hug. "Aw Ywou awight mumma?" Harry asked his green eyes looking into Lily's own. Lily's heart burst with love for her child. How can such a sweet little boy be all hers? Lily asked herself this everyday; after all it was through this child that gave her a reason to live on._

_With a wide smile, Lily picked Harry up placed a loving kiss on his lips. "Yes, I am my little green eyed angel, now how 'bout we get some breakfast." Harry giggled at his mommy, he loved her so much, and that just being in her made him happy._

"_Yes, pwease mumma"_

_The two of them walked to the little kitchen, leaving Lily with her last thought 'I'm not going to lose you too baby, because mommy loves you.'_

_***End Flashback**__*****_

* * *

'Where were those times now?' Lily thought despairingly, head in her hands. Where is the conviction she had for her one and only child? She made a promise to herself to never lose her baby and he…he took his own life.

The distraught mother didn't even know how he knew of muggle guns, or suicide. Who gave her child information about things like that? Then there was her soon-to-be ex-husband. What else has he done to her angel that she doesn't know about? The child that always looked to her in his pain, how did she lose sight of what was truly important?

Thinking of this brought back old memories of time she would be there for him;

* * *

_***Flashback* **_

_**Harry 4 years old**_

_Lily was rushing home from her job, to get back to her baby that she left with Padfoot. Sure she knew that she had nothing to worry about because Padfoot was watching him and would rather die than let harm come to him, but then that just made her worry more because it was Padfoot. She knew how irresponsible he could be sometimes. What spiked her ire, was that it was pouring with rain, of which was causing more and more traffic of people._

…...

_By the time Lily got home it was a quarter to ten; the rain hadn't stopped, only increased with an addition to thunder. Lily flipped the switch and her entire house became illuminated._

_There sleeping on her sofa was Sirius, so her son must be in his room. Walking into the hallway toward her son's room, Lily felt dread, something she hasn't felt since that night on Halloween. She didn't know why she did at the time when she was walking down the hallway, but once she reached Harry's room she knew why she felt that way. Harry wasn't in his room._

_Immediately at panic, Lily searches everywhere in her son's room for him. Did someone take her angel when she was gone? What was Sirius doing? Lily couldn't stop all the possibilities that filled her head about her son in the worst-case scenarios. Death eaters, kidnapper, murderer, her son could be anywhere with anyone and she doesn't know._

_In the midst of her search thunder roared through the house with lightning following soon after. And that's when she heard it, a faint a muffled cry coming from her room._

_Not wasting any time at all Lily ran to her room and started searching for her son. First she checked her bathroom that was connected to her room, then under her bed. The thunder started getting louder, so much so that it started shaking the condo. And as the thunder got louder she found her son. In the closet._

_Cautiously opening the door, Lily looked inside and saw her four year-old son hiding under all her clothes shivering; face red and puffy from crying. 'Of course' Lily thought. 'He's afraid of thunder'. Moving her clothes aside Lily gathered Harry into her arms and held him tightly against her own body in the closet._

"_Shhh, baby mummys here, mummys her" Lily cooed. "Mu- um-my" Harry sniffled trying to calm his erratic breathing. " Yes baby it's okay I got you, I got you". "Don't- go –mu-mmy." That thought hadn't even crossed Lily's mind. " Mummy's not going anywhere, my love" "Pwromise-ss"" Mummy promises she'll never leave you behind"_

"_Love you Mummy"_

"_Love you, too"_

_For the rest of the night Lily and Harry stayed in the closet in a tight embrace. That is until Sirius found them._

"_Lils, what are you doing in a closet?" Sirius questioned in concern. Followed by "I'm hungry, let's eat." Lily cracked a smile. Padfoot wouldn't be Padfoot if he didn't have his concern for others mixed with his concern for his stomach._

_***End Flashback**__*****_

* * *

If- no, When her son got through this she would fix everything, do anything in her power to bring her baby back into her life, beginning with Snape. 'How dare he harm my son', Lily thought with motherly fury.

A hand on her shoulder broke Lily out of her thoughts.

"Lils."

Lily turned around and was brought face to face with Remus Lupin and Sirius Black. Men she hasn't seen in two years. Yet another thing she had screwed up. When Snape came into the picture he didn't want the two who had tormented through his years at Hogwarts to be around, so she forbade them from ever coming around.

Poor Harry had been devastated to hear that his uncle moony and uncle paddy wouldn't be coming around anymore. He cried for weeks on end, and Lily had done nothing about it, too blinded by the filling in her heart that Snape provided

Lily looked into the eyes of her late husbands oldest and best of friends straightforward. And instead of saying anything, they wrapped Lily in a tight embrace. Judging by the blood on Lily's shirt they knew she was going through an inner turmoil at the thought of Harry.

"I'm s-o-o sor-ry Re-mus, Siri-us I di-dn't mean to push y-o-u aw-ay like I had t-wo years ago" Lily's sobs muffling all her sentences. "I kn-ow i-m a horr-ible mum-" Sirius stopped her right then and there.

"Lils stop doing this to yourself, you were hurting and you needed to fill that void that James left behind." Sirius sternly told her.

Lily looked at him with red eyes. "HURTING! I thought the void James left behind was hurt that was what I felt when he was gone." Lily chuckled a distressed laugh. "I am nowhere near hurting now Sirius" she took a breath that stuttered a little. "No you see what I'm feeling is excruciating pain, my son is in the emergency room , probably dying because he committed suicide at the age of 8"

" I do blame myself, because I went for two years bypassing the pain my son was in and never once sought to give him what he needs. And if he dies I'll make sure I go with him!" Lily poured her heart out.

Just then a healer came out of the E.R.

"Are you the mother of Harry James Potter?" he asked.

_**This is it. The moment of truth.**_

"We have good news, bad news and a few questions about your son"

_**Blood is pumping in her ears now, what's the news!**_

"Good news is your son will live"

_**But he also said there was bad news, don't get too excited.**_

"Bad news is; he has major blood loss, broken jaw, bruised rib cage, and minor damage to his head"_' When I tackled him must of caused some damage' Lily thought._

_**As long as he lives the world hasn't ended yet.**_

"But he has now fallen into a deep coma, we have no idea when he will awake"

_**The she'll wait for him.**_

"Now for the questions; have you ever seen anyone do or have you committed physical or sexual abuse to your son"

_**No! He wouldn't. Not her baby!**_

* * *

_...And the world came crashing down before the eyes of Lily Evans._

* * *

_**A/N: Continue or no continue let me know!**_


	3. End

_**A/N: Hey guys as you see I deleted chapter 3 & 4 and the story is now marked as complete. I decided to finish it at chapter two and let you think how you wanna end it. If you want this story PM me and I'll give you my permission. **_

_**The story was supposed to focus a relationship between Harry and Lily, so by adding all new things I threw my focus of and can't think anymore. So remember PM me if you wish.**_

_**X0097-Fuinn**_


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